End of the Quarter-Life Phase?
Some call it the "Quarter-Life Crisis." In short, that's when twenty-somethings have serious second thoughts on their careers. For some, it's as little as embarking on careers that have little to do with what their formal education taught them. For others, it's about climbing the corporate ladder only to realize that they were on the wrong building. It's a passing thought for some, it's a life change for others. That's how it is.

I believe this was my life for the past 5 years. Originally, I was going to be some kind of hero. A gun toting man with a badge and a smart looking suit. A Fed. Which alphabet soup agency, I really didn't care. This sparked while I was doing my undergrad at Davis. Since most of it is white-collar investigations, I started my experience base at a major company in big business (Silicon Valley, to be exact).

I came in a very idealistic employee. It didn't take me long to get jaded. Fraught with self-seeking managers (save for one of them), unyielding execs, and back-stabbing co-workers, it's amazing that I put up with it for so long. I wanted out. I wanted a change. One September morning, the World Trade Center went up in smoke. You can say that I had a major shift in priorities. I went into the Reserves.

I don't know if what I did was sensible. There were days that I thought this was an exhiliarating ride. There were other days that I wanted out and even regretted going in. Nonetheless, I pushed on with life. Hoping that this would lead me somewhere.

Nowadays I wonder if I'm through this phase. I think I'm ok with not being the gun-toting badass that I swore I'd become. Some of it comes from being jaded with reality. On the other hand, I have a little someone whom I'm with that I care very much about. I'm sure it worries her that I already have one dangerous job. Part of me wonders if it's even fair for her if I had 2 dangerous jobs at once.

I guess I had a long laundry list of things that I wanted to become. It's like the ones you had as a kid except they were well within the realm of possibilties called reality. In the end I have to accept the fact that not all of these, I can do. Some of the things in my life far outweigh some of the hats I want to wear.

A Toast
There are days that I love to really explore the very heart of her. Days that I really want to grasp the part of her that has a tremendous capacity to care. A selflessness that I admire. A wisdom that I can mesh with.

Then again, there are other days where I just want to hear her cute voice and listen to her giggle. More so to see her smile. =)

Things on the Horizon
Yeah, sorry I haven't been writing for some time now. Lots of things are new around the corner for me.

One of the biggest things for me is my OBC course in AZ. Come next week, I'll be packing stuff into my car and driving out there for some good old heat. Man, I don't know....I just learned that some folks died because of the heatwave in AZ. On my way there, I'll be stopping over in LA to visit my chica. I do feel that she needs all the moral support I can give for her CPA exams. I'm gonna miss seeing her for some time. I'll try to visit her when I can. Come to think of it, I do realize that I wont be back in the Bay Area for some time. I'll be gone about the length of a college semester. Not too terribly bad, right?

After I come back, which is right before Christmas, I'll be further examining my civilian career and getting that jumpstarted again. It's interesting because I have a wide variety of things I want to do in this world. I guess the thing that I would absolutely love is to meld the aspects of both my military life and my civilian career together. But we'll see how that comes together. For some reason, I have faith that this can materialize.

The Best of Times
For the last 2 weeks, I spent time with the woman. It was wonderful.

For the first week I was there, I hung out mostly around her neck of the woods. We ate out a lot and spent quite a bit of time together. At times, it was a little hard since she didn't actually have time off until the following week. So while she was at work, I took care of a lot of my own affairs. However, to see her come back from work is priceless. She's a peach.

On my birthday we went to the Getty Museum. That place is cool. For somebody of my background it's hard not to see why that is. The architecture of that place is really astounding. I'd recommend it.

Later that evening we went out to dinner at a nearby restaurant. Afterwards, we celebrated at home with cake. My sweetie surprised me with a 1GB MP3 player. It's even better than the one I have her a few days ago! That wasn't the only gift tho. I'd say the whole day was wonderful.

The next day we left on a south-west tour. We went to Las Vegas, Grand Canyon as well as other notable locations. Very nice trip. With all of this flurry of activity, we managed to spend quite a bit of alone time together. That was very meaningful.

Sunday was a spontaneous outing in Santa Monica. All we really wanted to do was spend some dedicated time together before I drove back together the next day.

My post vacation thoughts are nothing but good. As always, she's wonderful and thoughtful. Why I never considered her all this time is beyond my comprehension. She's a keeper, she really is. I'm also thankful at how hospitable her parents are.

What can I say? I really love this girl...